Trauma – when the memory still hurts (Part 2)
Like the Samaritan woman at the well, who, after experiencing emotional trauma I believe, sleeping and seeking validation from various men, finally met the one man who cared more about healing her spirit than claiming her body.
John 4:7-26,28
[7]A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.”
[8]For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.
[9]Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.
[10]Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”
[11]The woman said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water?
[12]Are You greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?”
[13]Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again,
[14]but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”
[15]The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw.”
[16]Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”
[17]The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’
[18]for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.”
[19]The woman said to Him, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet.
[20]Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, and you Jews say that in Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship.”
[21]Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming when you will neither on this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, worship the Father.
[22]You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews.
[23]But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.
[24]God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”
[25]The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When He comes, He will tell us all things.”
[26]Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He. ” The Whitened Harvest
[28]The woman then left her water pot, went her way into the city, and said to the men,
[29]“Come, see a Man who told me all things that I ever did. Could this be the Christ?”
[30]Then they went out of the city and came to Him.
When she had a conversation with Jesus at the well, she realized something different about this particular man.
No wonder she left everything she was doing and ran back to the city to invite the other men.
I guess, she’d say to them.
“Y’all think highly of yourselves. But come see a man who’s not interested in having me in his bed, but wants me to spend eternity with him in heaven. Come see a man who’s interested in a wholesome life, one dedicated to God irrespective of my past. A real man who knows how to keep a woman.
I’ve found what I’ve been looking for in six different men”
So, an entire city followed that woman.
Why?
She went past her experience to embrace newness in Jesus.
A lady told me how she had to suffer a terrible trauma after she gave birth.
She was confiding in me as she could no longer hold a secret, a terrible thing she did in the past.
She had an affair with a married man..
If it were just anyone, it would hurt less. But this man happens to mentor she and her husband.
One day, he asked her to book a hotel in a neighboring state. She needed to wait for his arrival before she leaves the place. But when he came, he pleaded that she spends the night as it was already too late to leave.
So out of trust, she stayed back.
One thing led to the other, he forced himself on her. When she kept pleading, he told her that he loved her and wanted her badly.
She cried all through the night after the sex.
He apologized, but the very next morning, he pleaded to have sex with her again, but this time with her consent. He assured her that it was never going to happen again, so she consented to it.
A week later, he told her that he’d love to be with her over a chat. And that he wants her to be his confidante.
She agreed.
They continued having sex. Until one day, she got tired and told him she could no longer continue to live like that.
Everything was suffering. Her relationship with her man, her spiritual life and even her health. She had series of infections because they were having unprotected sex. Even to the point he made her promise that she’ll never leave him.
He was everything she wanted in her man, she kept wondering what kind of influence would make her go this far with her mentor.
She’s been with her man for seven years, and that was the only time she cheated on him. Something she regrets.
In her words, I’ve made mistakes in the past, but this was the worst mistake and i regret every bit of it. I wonder if I’m ever going to recover from this.”
The memory hunted her each time she was making love to her husband. Each time she was breastfeeding her baby, she’d remember the way the man sucked her breast and she’ll fling the child. And sometimes, when she’s overwhelmed and feels like the man took advantage of her, she’d get so angry at her husband and the baby.
This continued to happen until she was forced to share it with me, something she promised she’d never do. It was too shameful for her to talk about it.
I spoke to her, prayed with her and shared the scriptures with her.
She testified that praying eased the pain she felt each time she remembered. Knowing that God loves her, and still does changed her perspective about making mistakes and moving on from them.
She thought she’d never recovered, even though it hurts her, her response to that memory is different now.
Instead of anger, she becomes grateful to have been able to walk away from such a despicable life.
Instead of fury, she knows she’s forgiven. Her heavenly father has forgiven and erased that past.
This is one of the many stories I’ve heard that depicts the true state of a person suffering from the sharp blades of trauma that cuts deep into their being.
You can totally be free from trauma. You can totally heal from the memory that hurts.
It may prompt the question, “How?”
Identify Triggers
What are those things that quickly triggers you?
What brings you back to that unpleasant place you hate to relive?
Confront it with the word of God.
You may be suffering from a loss. But what does the word say about it? What promises shows that God is able to restore all that you’ve lost?
Understand that they are triggers because you allow it.
When the devil shows me pictures of the past mistakes I’ve made, I openly and loudly say “I don’t remember.”
You know why?
Because God doesn’t either.
Hebrews 8:12
For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”
It’s my way of shutting him up. It’s my way of shutting down triggers.
So interested of sulking, and wallowing in shame, I confront it with the understanding of who I have become.
My worth is not measured by what I’ve done, what I’m doing, what I’ve lost in the past, what I’m going to lose in the future, it is not measured by any material acquisition.
It is measured by the blood of Jesus, and that’s invaluable.
When you’ve identified triggers…
Check your response.
The anger, the resentment, the fury all disappear.
Because an understanding has been established.
The devil moves in the direction of ignorance. So when a man is destitute of knowledge or understanding, it becomes a good habitat for the devil to perpetuate evil.
I may still have the memory, but I do not allow it to control my emotions. And so because my emotions are governed by the spirit, my response changes.
2 Corinthians 5:17
[17]Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
As a child of God, you cannot coexist with trauma. It’s an error.
Confront triggers.
Declare God’s word over anything that challenges you.
Understand who you have become after receiving Christ, and allow that awareness change your responses!
I call you blessed!
If you haven’t read through the previous section yet click here
