How to genuinely bless someone who is spitting on you.

It’s never easy to bless someone who has wronged you—let alone someone who openly disrespects, falsely accuses, or even hates you.

In this context, “spitting” doesn’t just mean literally being spit on; it represents the actions of those who treat you with contempt, revile you, or act maliciously toward you.

So, how do you respond when faced with such situations?

For a long time, I struggled with speaking negatively whenever I was upset. Even if I didn’t say it out loud, my thoughts were often filled with harsh words.

But the truth is, whether spoken or unspoken, negativity in our hearts makes us no different from those who act unjustly toward us.

As followers of Jesus, this should not be our response. Romans 12:14 reminds us to:

“Bless those who hurt you. Bless them, and do not call down curses on them.”

The New Century Version puts it this way:
“Wish good for those who harm you; wish them well and do not curse them.”

God’s Word humbles us, challenges our egos and direct us to the right path. Doing the right thing may not be easy, but it is possible.

How Can You Genuinely Bless Someone Who Has Wronged You?

Give Them the Benefit of the Doubt

Jesus demonstrated this even as He suffered on the cross. Consider what He endured:
“They struck Him on the head with a reed stick, spit on Him, and dropped to their knees in mock worship. When they were finally tired of mocking Him, they took off the purple robe and put His own clothes on Him again. Then they led Him away to be crucified.” (Mark 15:19-20, NLT)

Despite this, Jesus still prayed:
“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, NLT)

But did they truly not know? Of course, they knew what they were doing. Yet, Jesus chose to extend grace by giving them the benefit of the doubt. He found a way to excuse their actions.

This principle has helped me a lot. When someone wrongs me, I try to understand their perspective—maybe they were acting out of stress, personal struggles, or emotional baggage. I ask myself, If I were in their position, would I have acted differently?

Finding even a small reason to empathize makes it easier to genuinely bless them, rather than just saying the words without meaning them.

Refuse to Speak Ill of Them

Anger and frustration often tempt us to respond with curses instead of blessings. But think about it—despite all the ways we have hurt God, He still chooses to bless us rather than curse us.

Luke 6:27-28 instructs us:
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

True obedience means resisting the urge to retaliate with negative words and instead choosing to bless, even when it feels undeserved.

Continue to Be Salt and Light

Salt enhances flavor, and as believers, we should live in a way that makes God’s commands appealing. While some may distort the teachings of Jesus, our obedience should draw others toward Him.

Similarly, we are called to be light:
“Let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” (Matthew 5:16, NLT)
When people expect us to retaliate, we can instead respond with grace and kindness. This is how we shine the light of Christ in a dark world—by blessing when others expect curses.

Final Thoughts
Blessing those who mistreat us isn’t easy, but it is the way of Christ. His Word calls us to rise above offense and reflect His love. The more we practice this, the more we align with God’s heart.
So, when faced with the challenge of blessing someone who has wronged you, will you choose your feelings or choose obedience?