Common causes of sexual sin
In medicine, it is easy to understand the difference between treating the symptoms and curing the condition. Unfortunately, this understanding is much harder to come by in our lives. When problems arise, do you jump in and treat the symptoms, or do you stop to consider whether there’s a deeper condition that needs your attention? If you only fix the symptoms – what you see on the surface – the condition will return, and maybe worse than it was.
If you consider sexual sin as a condition to be treated, which I do, then it has to be one of the biggest but most ignored spiritual problems of our time. Its temptation comes from Satan and our desires (James 1:13 & 14). If Satan has not tempted you in recent times that does not mean he has forgotten, he is just strategizing. Focus on your victory plan. If you do not have a victory plan, please work on creating one for yourself. In the next post, I will be sharing mine with you.
Like every other gift, sex is a gift from God and has a purpose. God gave us our sexuality and wired our bodies with the impulse and sensations we feel, but misusing it or using it recklessly in a selfish way becomes a sin. Sexual sin is the improper use of our God-given sexuality. Sexual sin can be lust, fornication, adultery, masturbation, lesbianism, orgy, pornography, etc.
I recently realized that the greatest weapon I possess to overcome sexual sin is humility. By this I mean humbly admitting that I am not beyond falling into this sin; afterward, I take conscious precautions to avoid being a victim. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you do not fall. 1 Cor. 10:12
Each time I hear stories about people struggling with sexual addiction the first thing I do is pray for myself. I pray to have “all things that are needful for life and godliness…” – 2 Peter 1:3 and for them to be on my fingertips when such temptation beckons.
Many people still succumb to sexual sin even though it is well-known that the end is disastrous. Let me encourage you to study your Bible from Genesis to Revelation and remind yourself of God’s inflexible position on sexual sin, perhaps you will see the need to deter yourself from traveling the highway to perdition. There are several reasons/causes of this sin but these are my suggestions;
Our fallen nature
We first have to understand that since the fall of Adam in Genesis 3, we are now born into sin and spiritually dead at birth. This results in a natural inclination for us to do contrary to God’s will and, unfortunately, everyone has a share of this fallen nature.
I urge you to study Galatians 5. In this passage, the Bible talks about the flesh and its practices and how we become so overwhelmed by thoughts and behaviors that sometimes we can wonder if they are real or not.
This is to say that by default we remain under the bondage of sin until delivered by Jesus Christ. So do not be surprised if or when you find yourself drawn to any of the aforementioned sexual sins.
“For certainly, Christ is much more powerful to save than Adam was to ruin.” John Calvin.
A lack of genuine fear of God
I strongly believe that a genuine fear of God ought to keep me away from sin. Proverbs 8:13 says the fear of the Lord is to hate evil. Never forget; God is omnipresent and watches all we do. If you knew there is a python or lion in your room, would you undress and commit sexual immorality? No, all the passion will vanish. You will at least run to find somewhere safe to commit the act. There is no place to hide from God and the only safe place He provided for sexual acts is marriage. Early this year I took a course on “God” and it was overwhelming. I cried as I learned about reasons to fear God and It felt like I’d never truly known Him. But two things happened to me that day;
- I became convinced that God is to be feared and
- I began a journey to stand in growing awe of Him.
Each time I am alone in my room, I consciously remind myself that He is here and I can’t behave anyhow. Let us see the fear of God as a critical component of our Christian life that must be carefully cultivated.
A person fears God more when he understands His fury Psalms 90: 11. The most dangerous enterprise is to take God for granted and assumptions are deadly when dealing with a double-edged God. The fear of the Lord comes with deep reverence and respect that influence behavior. If we don’t fear God, then anything goes.
Do you not fear Me? ‘ says the LORD. ‘Will you not tremble at My presence, Who have placed the sand as the bound of the sea, By a perpetual decree, that it cannot pass beyond it? Jeremiah 5: 22.
Unguarded thoughts
Here is a secret; each time you are tempted, know that a life negotiation of your destiny is ongoing. When your thoughts start to wander toward the temptation, know that a bargain has started and when you begin rationalizing it, know that you are just about to sell your destiny.
The mind is never empty, it is filled with thoughts and imagination. When we allow our minds to be invaded by wrong thoughts, we eventually become those thoughts. Things like pornography are so evil because they corrupt the heart and open it up for other sexual sins. Philippians 4: 8 encourages us to think of things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Remember that even though we have a nature that thirsts for temptation, we can control it from running wild. Continuous edification of the mind through scriptures, books, audio, or visual format will be of great help.
“Guard your mind with all diligence, for out of it are issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
Indiscipline
I learned that the lack of control over the use of food, drink, sleep, and tongue will usually result in indiscipline and idle time will have the same effect. We all have in us the ability to manage and control ourselves. If we can exercise self-control over our appetite for sexual desire then we can overcome sexual sin. We can start by having control over the tongue, thoughts, certain movies, etc, and from there we will grow because discipline translates over the multiple facets of our lives.
As women, we should be more sexually modest and restrained than men, especially because a woman is responsible for who she sleeps with. We have to set standards if we want to keep ourselves off sexual sin. Know your sex triggers and stay off them. I want to say that married women are not exempted from such struggles. You can boldly share your struggles with your husband and together you two can fight them so that they won’t destroy your home.
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline”. 2 Timothy 1:7
Unnecessary companionship with men
Emotion does not respect not gender. The intermingling of genders like having men as friends, best friends, and acquaintances could cause us more problems. When we look at the early Christians we learn how they maintain a strict division between men and women in public places to combat temptation and immorality.
I remember a Muslim guy I knew back in college. One day he met me walking and I innocently stretched my hand out for a handshake. He politely said, “I don’t shake women to help my sanity”. He knows his weakness and it is wise that he takes it seriously. I hear a lot of Christian ladies say that prohibition of the mixing between men and women is for Muslims and not them. But I believe we can learn a thing or two if we think rationally about the benefits of such practices.
Walk with the wise and become wise. Proverbs 13:20
External pressure
Whether we like to admit it or not, external pressure affects us all. I mean not just pressure from the media, because the agenda must be pushed, but from our friends and partners also.
There is a skit by The Winlos which best describes this, a young lady under intense pressure from her man reaches out to her best friend for advice. The friend cautions her that withholding her body from her man will lead to a breakup. Eventually, she gives in and … you know what, just watch.
These days not many people believe virgins still exist. To be a virgin is almost to be scoffed at or ridiculed. The innate value of purity has been pressured out of our culture.
Do not be deceived, for bad company destroys good character”. 1 corinthians 15:33
Conclusion
Overcoming sexual sin is not an academic exercise, it is warfare. Usually, sexual temptation is an invitation to turn stone into bread simply because we are hungry – Matthew 4. As believers, we are not exempt from the struggle with sexual sin but we are equipped with the tools to thrive in such struggles.
Since we now have an understanding of some of the causes of sexual sin, we should figure out what we must change to offer ourselves more strength and discipline. I pray you have all the help you need to live life and godliness.
