Best Advice Every 20-Something Needs to Hear

The thing about advice is it can be a gentle reminder of what you already know or a fresh perspective you’ve never considered. Either way, the right advice can help shape your thinking, improve your lifestyle, and guide you toward a stronger, and a better future if applied appropriately.

We also live in a time where there’s so much information everywhere, so much that it can be overwhelming and distracting. That’s why it’s important to filter through the noise, identify what truly matters to you, and return to those truths when you need clarity or direction.

What you’ll find below are pieces of advice I often share with the young females around me. They come from lessons learned, personal growth, and heartfelt conversations. I hope they speak to you just as deeply and help you build the kind of life you’ll be proud of.

Accept yourself

This is something I struggled with for a very long time. I was bullied in so many ways, over so many different things. It felt like the enemy was constantly using people to tear me down. Over time, it became hard for me to truly accept myself.

I felt like being in relationships just for validation will make me whole and complete. Because of this, I allowed men who were unworthy of me to take advantage of my heart and lead me in the wrong direction. I ended up in toxic situations, surrounded by people who didn’t value me, and I started to let their opinions define me.

That led to deep insecurity. I couldn’t accept my body, my face, my voice, my gap teeth, nothing. I was rejecting everything about myself, even my God-given identity.

If you can relate to this, I want you to know you’re not alone. But more importantly, I want to remind you that your identity is not in how people see you. It’s in Christ.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. And until you begin to seek love and approval from God not from people, you’ll always feel like something is missing.

Seeking validation from others will never truly satisfy your soul. But when you understand that your worth is already established by your Creator, everything changes.

If you’re struggling to accept yourself, please take it to God and read through my post Do-you-know-who-you-are it can be of great help. Ask Him to help you see yourself through His eyes. Self-acceptance isn’t just about confidence, it’s about healing, growth, and stepping into the woman God created you to be.

You are beautiful.
You are enough.
You are loved.

Be encouraged, and choose to accept yourself especially in the areas that feel hardest to love. Because God already loves every part of you.

Keep yourself for your husband

Fornication is a serious struggle today. In a world where hookup culture is glorified, it can be hard to stand firm. It’s heartbreaking how normalized it has become to give our bodies, our sacred temples to people who are not our husbands.

Many can’t stand being alone, so we run into the arms of the next available person, hoping to fill a void that only God can truly satisfy. But what ends up happening is you delay the process of meeting the right person, God’s best for you by entangling yourselves in relationships that are not meant to be. And often, those relationships are toxic, painful, and completely avoidable.

The truth is, some of you aren’t even ready for a relationship. you focus more on finding someone than on becoming someone, healed, whole, and rooted in Christ. There’s always room for growth, and this season of singleness is not a punishment, it’s a preparation.

I say this from experience. I always believed that any man seeking to sleep with don’t love.
Now, looking back at 30, I see how much trauma I have avoided for choosing obedience over emotions.

This isn’t a message of shame, it’s one of encouragement.

If you’ve been caught up in fornication, if you’ve been seeking love in the wrong places, please pause. Please repent. Choose to seek God and allow Him to heal your heart. He wants more for you. And deep down, so do you.

You don’t have to follow the trends.
You don’t have to settle for counterfeit love.
You are worth waiting for, and so is the one God has for you.

Choose purity.
Choose healing.
Choose God.

Get yourself financially literate

We’re living in one of the most materialistic generations ever, and unfortunately, it’s only getting worse. With social media constantly showcasing new trends, new cars, new furniture, and flawless beauty routines, it’s easy to feel the pressure to “keep up with the Joneses.”

But let me remind you of something important:
Your financial health matters more than appearances.
You don’t need the newest iPhone. You don’t need a massive 13-seater couch. Those nails, lashes, and hair done weekly is not a necessity, it’s a want.

When you’re constantly breaking the bank to maintain a certain look or lifestyle not just for yourself, but for how others perceive you, you’re trading long-term gain for short-term applause. And it’s a dangerous trade.

At the end of your life, I don’t want you to just see a closet full of clothes and maxed-out cards. I want you to see wise investments, growth, and peace, the kind that comes from financial freedom.

I’m 30, and it’s only recently that I’ve started taking my finances seriously. God has been teaching me and pouring into me in ways I never expected. But here’s the thing, for Him to entrust me with more, my character had to grow. And the same goes for you.

If you’re praying for more, you need to be prepared to steward more.
You can’t ask God to bless your finances if you’re mismanaging what you already have.

So if you’re drowning in debt… or your “savings” is just part of your checking account that you can easily dip into… If you’re ignoring the need for budgeting, planning, or investing…

It’s time to shift.

There are countless books, resources, and financial coaches available. Start there. Learn. Grow. Get serious. Because one day, you’ll hit a certain age, and the reality will hit: no savings, no investments, and retirement looking nothing like you hoped.

Take your finances seriously now.
Your future self will thank you endlessly.
This isn’t just about money, it’s about becoming who you’re called to be.

Invest into yourself

When I say “invest,” I’m not talking about clothes, cars, fancy meals, or constantly getting your nails done. That’s not the kind of investment I mean. I’m talking about real investments, the kind that help you grow into the person God is calling you to be.

I’m talking about things like:

• Attending conferences/exploring online resources
• Having a coach or mentor
• Joining a discipleship group
• Being part of a godly, growth-minded community

These are the things that stretch you, develop you, and position you for real transformation. Because when you surround yourself with people who are already living in alignment with their purpose, people who are stable, disciplined, and thriving, you get a clearer picture of who you could become. You start to rise to the level of the environment you place yourself in.

You’ve probably heard the saying: “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”
It’s true, who you spend time with is a strong reflection of who you are and who you’re becoming.

So instead of spending all your money on temporary pleasures, start investing in what will last:

• Your growth
• Your calling
• Your character
• Your future

I used to think I could figure it all out on my own. I didn’t want to pay for a coach or attend seminars. I thought, “I’ll just YouTube it or figure it out along the way.” But let me tell you, when you have big goals, you need support. You need people who have already walked that path and can help guide you.

And the truth is, in this digital age, there are so many resources available. Whatever God has placed on your heart, there is a book, a course, a coach, or a community that can help you get there.

Please don’t just work your 9–5, come home, do chores, and repeat the cycle day after day without pouring back into yourself. There are passions, ideas, and dreams in your heart that need your time and attention. Don’t waste your energy keeping up appearances while your future self is being neglected.

And one simple way to invest in yourself is through Reading. Yes, actually read books again. We spend so much time scrolling on social media that we’ve forgotten how powerful reading is. Books have changed my life, not just the Bible, which is my foundation, but also other books that have helped me grow spiritually, financially, and personally.

One book that truly shifted my perspective was Purpose driven life and Atomic Habits. It opened my eyes to the small changes I could make every day that lead to massive transformation. That’s what reading can do for you, it expands your mind, renews your thinking

Take care of your your Body

Your body is incredibly valuable, treat it like it is. Imagine spending 20, 25, or even 30 years neglecting your health, only to decide at 50 that it’s time to start caring for it. That kind of delay comes with a price: aching joints, a stiff back, and fatigue that could’ve been avoided.

If you desire a family, or already have one, your health matters more than ever. Don’t just think about now, think about being present for your children, grandchildren, and future generations. A long, meaningful life requires intentional care today.

It’s not just about what you eat, it’s also about how you move. Your body needs physical activity. A sedentary lifestyle silently invites illness and weakness that may not show now, but will later show itself when it’s harder to reverse.

Start now. Prioritize your well-being so you don’t have to fight for it later. Your future self will thank you.

Find New Hobbies

Try journaling, reading, singing, hiking, just explore something new. I know so many people who simply go to work, come home, and repeat the same cycle every day. No hobbies, no creativity, no time for self-discovery. But hobbies are a powerful way to learn more about yourself. They help you tap into hidden gifts, unleash creativity, and unlock parts of you that you didn’t even know existed.

I’ve personally tried a lot of different things, singing, baking, playing pool, running, videography, editing, caring for plants, you name it. Every new experience opened up something fresh in me. My husband took up tennis. I even used to play football! So whether it’s something quirky like pickleball or something creative like sewing or making journals, the possibilities are endless.

Don’t just think about it, actually go out and try it. This ties back to the bigger picture of investing in yourself. Your hobbies are part of that investment. They don’t have to be perfect or profitable, just purposeful. So give yourself permission to try new things. You might just find unexpected joy, fulfillment, and a deeper connection with who you are becoming.

Stop Holding Grudges

Let go of grudges, they only weigh you down. One of the most common generational patterns I see, especially in families, is the inability to let go of the past. Just when someone begins to heal or take steps toward reconciliation, someone else digs up old wounds. It’s a cycle that keeps people stuck.

Holding onto resentment doesn’t just hurt people, it stifles your own growth. It often reveals an insecurity and an unwillingness to forgive. And without forgiveness, you can’t truly move forward in life. You remain chained to the pain, bitterness, and memories that were meant to be released long ago.

Forgiveness isn’t about pretending something didn’t happen, it’s about choosing freedom over bondage. When you forgive, you open your heart to see others in a new light, allowing healing and transformation to take place in you.

Grudges destroy healthy relationships and block the restoration of broken ones. Don’t let unforgiveness rob you of peace, joy, or connection. Make the choice to release it and watch how your life begins to shift for the better.

Seek godly community

One of the biggest shifts in my life happened when I found a Godly community. The moment I stepped into it, I thought, “Wow… I feel like a brand new person.” I felt alive, refreshed, and genuinely excited like, “I can’t wait to go back to Bible study!”

Being in a God-centered community does more than just surround you with people, it surrounds you with prayer, wisdom, accountability, and lasting friendships. You’re constantly reminded of who God is and who you are in Him.

In the beginning of my faith journey, I didn’t have that. I was trying to walk with God while still deeply entangled in sin. And a huge part of that was because I didn’t have the right people around me.

So if you’re struggling with strongholds or just feel stuck, and you don’t have a Godly community go find one. Start with Facebook groups, look for Bible studies in your area, or connect with someone you follow online who shares their walk with Christ. Even a simple DM can open a door.

Don’t do this walk alone. God often works through people, and community may be the very thing that helps set you free.

Be Slow to Anger

People who know how to listen often carry great wisdom. But many of us struggle with anger, we speak too quickly, react too harshly, and later regret what we said.

James 1:19–20 reminds us:
“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

If you’re quick to get angry and slow to hear others, it will create gaps in your communication and those gaps will show up in your relationships. Poor listening leads to misunderstanding, and unchecked anger leads to broken connections.

Take the time to pause. Count to ten if you have to. And more importantly, pray. Ask God to help you be slow to speak, slow to anger, and quick to listen. It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of maturity, wisdom, and strength.

There is life and death in the power of your tongue. So choose your words carefully. Speak with grace, not out of frustration. Be intentional. Be wise. Because how you handle anger will shape not just your conversations, but your character.

Spend Time with Your Family While You Can

One of the deepest regrets people carry is wishing they had spent more time with loved ones after they’re gone. When you lose a family member, your mind often replays the missed opportunities “I should have called more,” “I meant to visit,” “I passed by their house but didn’t stop.”

Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Spend time with your family while you still have the chance. As much as you prioritize your own space or time with friends, make space for those who’ve been there since the beginning, your parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles. These relationships are precious, and once they’re gone, you can’t get them back.

Value their presence. Tell them you love them. Listen to their stories. Show up.

Family is a gift. And time passes quickly. Don’t let busyness or distance rob you of the chance to love them well. You don’t want to live with the ache of “I wish I had.”
So make the most of now while you still can.

Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Comparison is a silent thief of joy, and for a long time, I struggled with it. I was in a relationship where the person I cared about was entertaining someone else at the same time and it left me wondering, What do they have that I don’t? That one experience opened the door to deep insecurities and self-doubt.

But here’s the truth: you are uniquely created by God. No one else has your voice, your mind, your heart, or your purpose. Someone else can say the exact same words I say, but it won’t land the same because God has given you a distinct way of reaching the world.

You weren’t made to blend in or compete. You were made to stand out, to reflect God’s glory in a way that only you can.

So whatever your gifts are, whether it’s speaking, serving, creating, or encouraging own them. Nurture them. And stop wasting time wishing you had what someone else carries.

Once you begin to see yourself through God’s eyes, you’ll realize: there’s no competition. You are one of one. Irreplaceable. Unrepeatable. And deeply valuable just as you are.

So take pride in your design. The world doesn’t need another copy, it needs you to be fully you.

Learn to say NO!

This was a hard lesson for me, one I didn’t fully grasp until my senior year of college. Before then, I was a chronic yes-person. “Yes, I can help.” “Yes, I’ll be there.” “Yes, I’ll do that for you.” I kept pouring into everyone else until I had nothing left, all while wondering why I felt empty, unseen, and used.

Let me tell you this: you have to learn to say NO.

If someone invites you out and you know you can’t afford it, say no.
If a guy asks you on a date, but you know you need to focus on improving yourself, say no.
If you got a job opportunity doesn’t align with your values or purpose, it’s okay to say no.

You don’t have to say yes to everything that comes your way. You don’t owe people immediate responses. You don’t have to rush decisions. Be intentional with your yes and protective with your no.

Most importantly, bring it to God first. Lay it at His feet. Pray about it. Seek His confirmation before you move. That one moment of prayer could save you from a lifetime of regret.

Saying no doesn’t make you mean. It makes you wise. It gives you authority over yourself. It teaches you to honor your boundaries. And it reminds you that your voice has power. So use it.

Stand up for yourself. Stop letting people run over you. Say no and mean it.

Forgive your past self

If there’s anything in your past that still haunts you, whether it was out of your control or a decision you now regret, I want you to hear this: forgive yourself.

One way I’ve learned to do this is to picture myself meeting my younger self, the little girl who didn’t know any better, who did the best she could with what she had. I imagine myself opening my arms to her, and she runs into them. I hold her tight and whisper, “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

Try seeing it that way. Go back to whatever age you were when that pain happened, and as the woman you are now, meet your younger self with compassion. Let them know it’s not their fault. Let them know they are loved. Let them know they’re safe now.

Because the truth is, you are not your past. What happened doesn’t define who you are. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt or that it didn’t matter. It means you’re choosing freedom over guilt, peace over shame.

And when you do that, something in you breaks free. You begin to heal. You begin to grow. You step into the version of yourself you were always meant to become.

So let go. Forgive yourself. A new you is waiting to rise.

Take risk on your career

Don’t be afraid to pivot. Don’t be afraid to change directions. I changed my career path four times and I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t taken those risks.

At one point, I was convinced I’d be an actress. I loved everything about acting and thought that was it for me. Then suddenly, I shifted, I wanted to become a Laboratory scientist. I had this passion to help people heal and regain health. I studied Lab Tech But eventually, I found myself lost and unsure again.

And that’s okay.

I currently run a blog and that’s what I’m now certain of. Each change brought me closer to discovering who I really am and what I’m truly called to do. If I hadn’t been willing to let go of the plans that no longer fit, I wouldn’t be sitting here now, walking in purpose and speaking from experience.

So take the risk. Change your major. Start that business. Apply for that job you feel underqualified for. Explore the unknown. Your future might not look like what you once imagined but that doesn’t mean it won’t be even better.

Growth comes from movement. Purpose comes from pursuit. And clarity often comes through the courage to change.

Trust the process. Take the leap. You’re not starting over, you’re starting right.

Be patient with your life

All the things I’ve shared so far every single point takes time to build. This is a big one, Be patient with your life. There’s no need to rush.

Everything I’ve learned has taken years, nearly a decade to truly understand, and I’m still learning. Some of these lessons may already resonate with you, and others might be new. But wherever you are on your journey, trust that God is writing your story day by day. If He woke you up this morning, it means there’s purpose in today.

So don’t panic if you’re still figuring things out. If you’re struggling with any of the points I’ve mentioned, know this: it’s all part of your process. It’s shaping your testimony. It’s molding your character. You just have to walk through it with faith and trust.

The more patient you are with your life, the more you’ll grow in your relationship with God. And in that patience, you’ll start to discover the deeper meaning behind everything you’ve gone through.

Be patient and you look back one day and realize the slow moments were where your life was being truly formed.

Keep going. You’re right on time.

Put God first in everything you do

Every struggle I went through, every area where I fell short, stemmed from one thing: God wasn’t first.

If I had truly put God first, I would’ve been slower to anger. I would’ve managed my finances with wisdom. I would’ve valued my body and i would’ve not kept grudges. I I would’ve seen myself through God’s eyes, learned to accept and love who I am, and find the strength to forgive.

All of these things require God. Without Him at the center, without Him leading your life, you will keep hitting the same walls, battling the same struggles, and wondering why nothing is changing.

I’m saying this because I care. I want to see you grow. I want to see you healed, whole, and walking in purpose. So if anything I shared in this message hit home for you, if there’s something you know you need to work on, bring it to God.

Lay it at His feet. Surrender it. Because God isn’t just a God who hears, He’s a God who transforms.

And I pray that as you seek Him, you’ll begin to see real change. Lasting change. The kind that only comes when you fully let Him lead.

I truly hope these words have spoken to you, and more than anything, I pray they lead you back to putting God first.

If this article spoke to you in any way, I’d love to hear what stood out for you. Your feedback means so much to me, not just because it encourages me, but because it lets me know this message truly resonated with you.

If you feel like any of the points shared could help you in your own journey, I invite you to follow along. This journey is one of growth and transformation, and I genuinely want to see you grow and transform too.

You can also join our community on Facebook to stay connected and go even deeper.

Shalom, friends! 💛